Work-life balance isn’t a new term, but it’s being bandied around now more than ever, and is even more crucial for busy working moms.
People are waking up to the fact that life is too short to be working it away and research studies consistently tell us that work-life balance is imperative if we want to remain happy, healthy, and productive members of society.
But just how can we juggle the demands of work, parenting and home life as busy working moms?
What is Work-Life Balance?
A work-life balance just means that there is an equilibrium between the amount of time we spend working for pay and time spent living life in meaningful ways.
In the case of working moms this inevitably means spending time with your family.
For so many years, workaholic-ism seemed a social status that many of us strived to achieve.
Now we realize the negative influences of that lifestyle.
Do we spend enough time unwinding from the day?
Enough time with our kids?
Or do we occasionally take a day off and feel guilty the entire time?
Maybe we only feel comfortable relaxing when we are on vacation.
And yet, even then we answer work phone calls, texts and emails, somehow believing that, if we don’t, the office will fall apart.
We aren’t insinuating that work isn’t an important part of our lives. It is.
Not only does work give us the means to live in the style we wish, but it also provides us with social interaction and a sense of fulfillment.
But when it starts to take over our identity, and we lose touch with our spouse, children, and friends, something is going to give.
So it’s each of our individual choices - what will it be?
Don’t be fooled into believing that if you don’t make a conscious choice, you aren’t choosing. You are.
Do you want to be employee of the year or mom of the year?
What Does Work-Life Balance Really Mean?
The truth is, no one can answer this for you except yourself.
The balance that works for us is an internal truth that we all must figure out for ourselves.
If we feel overburdened by everything we have to do, either at work or home or both, it’s time to make a shift.
We need to enjoy the one and only life we have.
Our goal should be to find and maintain a balanced, healthy work and home life.
The residual outcome of this balance is feeling content with the amount of time you spend working and living your life.
If you work so many hours a week and then come home only to take care of chores around the house before falling into bed, you aren’t experiencing a healthy work or home life balance.
And if your only time with your children is spent feeling grumpy and tired leading to snapping at them or not joining in with their interests and life, your balance is all wrong.
Work-Life Balance Myths
We’ve alluded to this above, but it’s important to bust 3 major myths about creating a work-life balance:
1. You should split your time 50-50
Attempting this will only cause more frustration and stress.
If you try to allow an equal amount of time for work and life, you’ll end up adding more activities, and more stress, to your list.
Balancing life for most people isn’t about adding more stuff.
It's about doing less, but enjoying each thing more fully and completely.
And if your kids are only getting some part of 50% of your time, they're not getting enough.
2. Your balance should look like everyone else’s
When we try to live our lives as others do, we fall into the same trap that we are trying to escape.
It isn't balanced if it doesn’t feel right to you.
So what if your neighbor feels happy working 60 hours a week and never seeing her kids and you don’t?
(And by the way, she probably doesn’t feel great about that, she just says she does.)
Step outside of the mould and find what works for you.
The only person you must please is yourself - and your family.
Once that is done, everything else will fall into place.
3. Your balance will always be the same
As our roles in life change, so will our balancing act.
It’s normal to need to adjust our work schedule and the amount of time we spend at home during different phases of our lives.
For example, when your company hits its busy season, you can expect to work more hours or be on call more often.
That’s doable short-term and expected for many jobs.
Or when you get a promotion, change jobs, get married, have a baby. All of those big life events will necessitate a shift to maintain balance.
Expecting this will take the stress out of the equation.
As your kids get older you may be able to work more, although in many ways teens need their parents around more than younger kids, so be careful not to loosen the ties too much.
No matter where you are starting out, creating a work-life balance will take some time.
As life naturally ebbs and flows, you will need to move with it to stay stable.
Signs Your Work-Life Balance is Off
Many of us in the West have bought into the fallacy that we can have it all.
But after a while, something has to give.
And we realise that a newer car / fancier wardrobe / better holiday is not a worthwhile price to pay to miss out on time with our kids.
Have you reached that point yet?
Answer the questions below to find out if your work-life balance could use some rebalancing:
1. Do you work too many hours?
It’s the easiest way to determine your current work-life balance.
Scientific studies tell us that working more than 55 hours a week consistently puts us at risk for immune deficiencies, lower productivity, and higher stress levels.
Working occasional longer hours is appropriate and often necessary.
But take a look at your overall work schedule.
Don’t forget to count all the time that you aren’t at work, but still answering emails and taking client phone calls.
Letting work creep into your family time or personal time is a surefire recipe for disaster.
2. Do you fall asleep on the job?
Mental and physical exhaustion caused by overwork and high-stress levels leads to fatigue and the vicious cycle of sleep deprivation.
Do you need cup after cup of coffee or energy drinks just to function at work?
Do you fall asleep when reading your child's bedtime story?
If you feel you can barely remain awake or focused at work or at home, your work has taken over your life.
Read more: 3 Ways to Have More Energy in the Morning
3. Do you avoid taking time off?
Even though we are busier now than ever, we are taking less time off than ever before.
Our employers give us sick and vacation time because we work best for them when we are rested and healthy.
But too many of us leave those days on the table, believing it’s a sign of weakness to need a break.
Unfortunately, history tells us that we will eventually be forced to take those days when we crack under pressure, either mentally or physically.
Read more: Get Some Mama-ME Time!
4. Do you think about work when you are at home?
Even when you are meant to be enjoying yourself, do you find yourself worrying about that looming deadline or the unhappy client you need to appease?
When we can’t seem to turn our work mind off, we should see it as a red flag that something is out of whack.
Again, if this is occasional, it’s not a problem. But when it’s a daily event, it's a problem.
5. Are you irritable?
If you are constantly frazzled and exhausted, it’s likely you spend time with your family in a way that is more harmful than beneficial.
When we are under too much emotional pressure, it’s easy to overact to simple mistakes or misunderstandings that normally we wouldn’t even notice.
Or to find everything your partner or child does irritating or annoying to you.
If you find yourself always irritated with your spouse or children, or there’s always someone you are fighting with, the chances are good that you need to take a step back to look at your priorities.
6. Do you live in overwhelm?
When our brains are overwhelmed with to-do lists and other obligations, we feel like there’s no escape.
We can’t make wise decisions, and we overlook important details that cause even more stress and concern.
If you feel like you can’t think straight on a daily basis and see no end in sight, it’s time to give yourself some time off to reconsider your priorities.
Read more: A 5 Step Plan to Reduce Stress and Overwhelm
7. Do you have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep?
Does it take you forever to fall asleep?
Or maybe you wake up in the middle of the night thinking about work and can’t get back to sleep.
When work is often interrupting our sleep, it’s a red flag that it’s taking over our lives.
During times of stress, we need sleep more than ever.
If worrying about work issues are causing you to lose sleep, you need to take it seriously and find ways to sleep better every night.
8. Are healthy habits a thing of the past?
Always too tired to go to the gym, play with your kids outside or even walk the dog?
Are you relying on junk food or convenience foods to feed yourself and the kids?
Healthy habits are unfortunately the first things we throw out the window when life gets hectic.
We often learn too late that these healthy habits were making it possible to work and live effectively.
If you can’t remember the last time you did something healthy for your body, stop and reflect on what that could do to your health long-term.
If a few of these or even all of them sound all too familiar, don’t despair!
There are steps you can take to simplifying your life to bring balance back.
The first step is to recognize that you are bordering on burnout and making a conscious choice to change it now.
How to Create and Maintain Work-Life Balance
Congratulations! You’ve learned that you need to balance your life and understand what can happen if you don’t. That’s a major step towards changing your life for the better!
Now the next step is to begin implementing small, consistent changes that will bring you into better balance.
Choose a few of these strategies and work them into your life until you feel confident with your ability to make them happen on a regular basis.
Then come back and add in some more.
1. Determine Your Priorities
You may do this regularly for your goals, but what about for your life?
When we get caught up in the minutiae of daily life, we lose sight of what we miss out on when we aren’t paying attention.
John Lennon famously said, "Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans."
Isn’t it time you made time for the things that you value most in your life? The answer should be yes!
Start by making a list of the things you wish you had more time to do.
The list should include the people in your life and the things you’d like to do with them.
Would you like to spend more time with your partner and children?
Have you always wanted to learn a new language or learn to paint?
No matter how trivial it may seem to others, write them down.
Then, put them in order of importance.
This list is your table of priorities, and it shows you where you need to start making the necessary changes to have a happy, balanced life.
2. Track Your Time
How often do you notice that it’s almost quitting time and you haven’t gotten much accomplished?
It’s frustrating, but it’s also an easy way to talk yourself into staying at work longer to get everything done.
Sometimes we try to make everything perfect, which means we never get any task finished.
If we are honest with ourselves, this is a delay or procrastination tactic.
Use one of the time tracking apps or extensions available online to see where your time goes.
Or use a simple kitchen timer to remind you to stay on task.
You can even turn it into a game to see how much you can get done before the timer goes off.
You can do this at home too.
Set the oven timer to keep yourself focused on housework or chores you don’t want to drag out, then reward yourself by doing something fun with the kids.
3. Manage Your Time
Start by making a list of the things at work and at home that you don’t enjoy doing or the ones you feel aren’t in your wheelhouse.
Once you’ve made this list look at each task individually and figure out a way to deal with it more effectively.
You may decide to outsource or delegate some to a family member.
Can some errands be run all at once so that you don’t waste time?
At work, you may be able to assign a task to an employee under your supervision who doesn’t find that task a total pain and who will do it more efficiently than you.
And, who knows? You may even find some tasks that don’t need doing at all.
We are great at creating busy work for ourselves - the antithesis of balance!
For example, let’s say you hate washing the car.
Ask yourself how important that chore is to you. Is it just habit?
Maybe your parents washed their car every week, and so that’s what you’ve always done.
Or, perhaps it is important for you to have a clean car.
If so, that’s fine, but maybe chose to run it through the car wash or hire an older child or teen to do it for you.
You will be amazed how many chores we do that can easily be knocked off the list or hired out.
4. Practice Saying No
We all hate to let people down, so we frequently agree to take something on when the thought makes us want to hide.
We say yes automatically in our home life as well as at work but it's crucial for our own mental and physical health to learn to say no sometimes.
No matter who is asking, don’t say yes immediately.
Tell them you need to check your schedule and get back to them.
The extra time you buy with this tactic will give you a chance to think the commitment through.
Is it something you’d enjoy doing? Is it important to you?
Or is it just one more thing to add to your ever-growing to-do list?
If you decide you can handle the commitment, let the person know.
By delaying the answer a day, you are less likely to take on a task you won’t enjoy, or you feel is unimportant.
It’s also easier to say no after the fact, especially if you can call, email or text the person.
5. Keep Work at Work
With our smartphones always within reach, we find it almost irresistible not to check it when it chimes with a notification.
We’ve become so trained to respond immediately to the interruption that we don’t consider if it’s how we want to spend our downtime.
When you are at work, keep focused and give your employer your best.
And when you are at home, avoid responding to work email, texts or calls.
If you have a coworker who frequently stays late at work and emails you while you are at home, let them know that you don’t deal with work details while at home.
Set up the expectation that you deserve and take your downtime seriously.
6. Reduce Disruptions
Did you know that when we are interrupted when working on a task, it takes us two or three times the amount of time to get back into the groove to complete the task?
Most of us work best when we can focus on one task for up to 90 minutes at a time.
To make the most of those minutes, turn on your phone message, shut down email and hang a do not disturb sign on your door to make sure you get the uninterrupted time you need.
You might email the people you supervise to let them know you’ll be unavailable that day at a particular time and ask that they bring things to your attention either before or after.
Let your family know you won’t be answering calls or texts because you're concentrating on a particular task or activity.
When handled lovingly, this is all more than appropriate.
Your coworkers and family will get used to this after a while.
7. Schedule 'Me' Time
It can be a real challenge, but self-care is vital to our health and wellbeing.
Start small, schedule a coffee with a friend after work or set aside time to read in a bubble bath for 30 minutes a week.
Once you begin doing this even on a small scale for a short time, you’ll notice the unbelievable benefits to your mental health.
Your mood will improve, and you’ll feel more up to the challenge when stressful situations do arise.
When you feel ready, extend that time or give yourself a couple of fun activities to look forward to each week.
The rejuvenation you experience when you do this will be well worth the actual time it takes and will deliver benefits to your mental health and family time.
Read more: 101 Simple Self-care Ideas for Busy Mums
8. Ask For What You Need
Granted, this is easier said than done, but it’s essential for a good work-life balance.
We are so used to being interrupted because of technology that we habitually give into temptation and allow ourselves the disruption.
Whether at home or work, let those around you know when you can’t be disturbed.
Don’t get angry and fly off the handle at them.
Instead, inform them in advance when you need uninterrupted time to complete a project on time or when you merely need some peace after a long day.
9. Limit Email Access
Every productivity guru on the planet tells us not to check our email first thing in the morning or the last thing at night.
They also warn us only to check it a couple of times a day.
Most of us are guilty of ignoring them and to our peril.
We waste precious time skimming unimportant emails only to do nothing with them.
That means we have to go back in later and respond.
Limiting how often we check our email accounts, both professional and personal, helps us focus on the important projects we need to work on now.
When we set aside 30 minutes a couple of times a day to deal with email, we are more efficient, and that gives us more free time to relax.
10. Eat Healthily
If we're busy and our stomachs are growling, instead of eating healthily we tend to grab whatever's easy to keep us satisfied.
That typically means living on fast or convenience foods.
When we follow a perpetually busy schedule, we fall into eating junk food with very little nutritional value more often than not.
Keep your fridge and cupboards filled with healthy easy-to-grab snacks and meals.
Plan a healthy breakfast every day.
No time to shop? Take advantage of the online grocery delivery options available.
When you know a busy schedule is coming up, which will happen even when you have a balanced life, order healthy food deliveries in advance.
A diet rich in fruits, vegetables and lean proteins will help your body handle stress more easily and makes it easier for you to sustain a hectic time when necessary.
11. Practice Yoga
We are encouraging you not to add more activities and busyness to your life, but starting a yoga practice can help you feel energized and balanced.
In fact, that is what yoga is all about—balancing and uniting the mind and body.
Even a 10 minute morning practice can make a big difference in your outlook.
12. Get Enough Sleep
The average amount of sleep people got a hundred years ago was nine hours. Now it’s seven.
But that doesn’t mean we need less sleep we used to.
When our stress increases, our need for sleep goes up as well.
Our body and mind need time to rejuvenate, which is why we need sleep in the first place.
Keeping your rest schedule at a premium will ensure you can make the best choices for your personal life as well as at work.
13. Make a Pact
Talk to some of your coworkers and make a pact to help each other out when family or other life events conflict with work.
Life happens, your child gets sick, your car breaks down, elderly parents need some extra help.
Just knowing that this an arrangement in place and that someone has your back if an unexpected clash comes up will help you work in a more relaxed way.
Do the same in your personal life too.
Ask friends and other family members if they’d be able to help out if your child is sick.
Would they let your dog out when you have to stay late at work or travel on the odd occasion?
It makes us feel good when we can genuinely help out others too, so the situation will be a win-win even if it's not something that comes up often.
14. Take Frequent Breaks
You work through your lunch grabbing a quick sandwich at your desk, and the only breaks you take are to hurry to the bathroom and back.
Does this sound healthy? What would you tell your friend who was working this way?
Our brains are only meant to focus for up to 90 minutes at a time.
After that, we start making more mistakes and poor choices. We don’t retain what we learn, and we aren’t as productive, even though we are 'working' at our desks.
One way to implement frequent breaks is by implementing the Pomodoro Technique.
This technique is a way to make sure you are being your most productive by keeping track of when you work and reminding you when to take a break.
The basis is scientific evidence that says we work best in 25-minute bursts, with 5-minute breaks in between bursts.
You can find different apps and extensions to make this simple to implement, or just use a good old wind up timer.
15. Become Deliberately Oblivious
Technology is a wonderful thing, and we can use it to streamline our responsibilities and work duties so that we can live a happier life.
But it’s a double-edged sword too.
We spend a lot of time being busy without really accomplishing much, and that happens at work as well as at home.
As you track your time, pay attention to how many times a day you do things like check email, see what your friends are up to on Facebook, or read memos that don’t have any importance to your current job.
Or maybe you stay up too late staring at the TV or playing games online, so you never get the sleep you need.
Decide now that you are going to be in control of the amount and type of information you receive daily.
Unsubscribe from email lists that just clog up your inbox.
Un-follow social media groups that are no longer applicable.
Request to be taken off email groups at work which are no longer relevant.
Turn off the TV, take a break from reading the news flashes that auto-send to your email.
There are a hundred little ways we waste precious time each day, and they are unnecessary.
You can start taking back your time by reducing the amount of information that continually bombards you.
16. Plan Ahead
Decide to get proactive on working smarter by setting aside the last 20 minutes of work time to organize your files and paperwork.
Put things that you’ve used during the day back in their correct spot and plan for the next day.
Spending your time like this is wise.
It’s the least productive time of the day, and it will ensure you are ready to get to work immediately as soon as you get to the office tomorrow.
You’ll also not waste time looking for things because you haven’t put them back where they belong.
Don’t forget to do this with online files as well.
Working smart will help your productivity so that it’s unnecessary to stay late to get everything done.
17. Enjoy Simple Fun
You don’t have to have a big fancy family day out planned to have a good time.
You don’t need to wait until you take the kids to the amusement park to spend quality time together.
It’s much easier to fit fun time in when your expectations aren’t so high.
If you wait until you have a long weekend to get away on a mini break, you may be waiting a while.
Instead, take a bike ride together after work, have a picnic lunch in the park, or order in your favourite meal and enjoy snuggling on the couch watching your favourite movie.
The things we remember most are the daily events that made us feel loved and secure.
Make memories whenever you can instead of putting it off so you can 'do it big' sometime in the future. It may never happen.
18. Be Aware of Non-Paying Work
Just because you are at home doesn’t mean you aren’t working.
There seems always to be projects and chores around the house that need attention.
Do you spend all of your time at home dealing with chores and obligations?
That can easily happen to all of us.
Paying bills, maintaining our homes and running errands can eat up our time at home very quickly.
Stay aware of the encroachment of housework even though you have gotten the hang of getting out of the office on time.
If you are still overwhelmed with what feels like work to you, consider hiring someone to clean your gutters, mow your lawn and complete handyman chores around the house so you can free up your time to live your life.
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Conclusion
If you’ve been waiting until this next big project is finished to turn over a new leaf for your work-life balance, it's time to reconsider.
Take another look at the tips and strategies above and find one that you can implement today and start now.
You don’t need to make huge changes all at once.
In fact, that’s much harder to sustain, which can lead to you giving up because it’s just not working for you.
Decide one way you will be kinder to yourself - and your family - by making your quality of life better right now.
The only way to ensure you create a better work-life balance is by making it a priority.
Otherwise, it’s going to be something that you only talk about, but feels unattainable.
We can all make small shifts to make our lives more balanced, and when we do, we see the benefits immediately.
Who wouldn’t want a happier, healthier life?
Remember, your definition of balance is different from everyone else’s, and that’s okay.
That’s the way it’s meant to be.
None of us can tell someone else what they need to do to live a healthy work-life balance.
We are all different. We have different goals, priorities, life experiences and desires.
So whatever you decide balance looks like for you, own it and put it into place. And don’t let anyone tell you it’s not 'right'.
You also will want to keep in mind that once you recognize and create your perfect balance, the game isn’t over.
Maintaining a work-life balance will be something you need to keep in mind consistently.
It’s easy to fall out of a healthy habit when life or work gets busy.
Making adjustments to account for short-term and long-term circumstances is a smart thing to do.
Needing to make adjustments here and there doesn’t mean you’ve failed, but rather, that balance is important enough for you to recognize when things aren’t quite right and to take action to correct the course.
Even if you’ve talked about wanting a work-life balance many times, it’s never too late to start.
Lowering your stress level and inviting more fun into your life will benefit you now and in the future.
You’ll enjoy life more, and you will lower your risk of having some of the most common diseases of modern life.
Taking this first step of learning more about a healthy work-life balance should be applauded.
Now you have the tools you need to get started creating a work-life balance that will sustain you for a lifetime.
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