Having a child of university age can often be daunting and frightening, and you are obviously always going to want them to do well and to be healthy and happy.
Regardless, this is a time of allowing them to do their thing as they set sail into the world, and there is no doubt that this can be a tricky time indeed, for them as well as for you.
However, if you want to make sure that you are sending them off to university in the right way, in a way that allows them and encourages them to make the most of the experience and really enjoy it, there are a lot of things to consider here.
In this post, then, we are going to talk about some of the tips you might want to consider in order to ensure your child is being sent off to university in the right way, so that they are able to make the most of it and really enjoy it.
Let’s take a look at some of the things right now that might help.
Encourage Independence First
It’s a really good idea to help your child to feel more independent before they leave for university, because that way you are going to find that you are much more confident in their ability to do well with the whole experience - and they are probably going to feel more confident in themselves as well.
Encouraging independence is the kind of thing that is going to be really useful to consider, and you should make sure that you are going to try and do it in whatever ways you can.
You can approach this in all sorts of ways, but it can be as simple and small as getting them to do their own laundry, learning how to cook a few basic meals and managing theri budget themselves.
If you can start teaching them these kinds of things, it’s going to be something that really helps, and you’ll find that they feel a lot more capable and independent by the time they get to university itself.
Talk About Money
It’s always worth talking to your child about money before they go off to university.
Money is one of the main challenges as a student, as well as in later life generally, so you are going to find that you are much more likely to feel confident in them if you have helped them to some degree to work out how to approach it.
And a lot of the time, people are not confident with money simply because it hasn’t been broached as a subject. If you want to make sure that you are not making this mistake, therefore, it’s vital that you are going to do all you can to try and talk about money now.
This can be as simple as helping them understand what a budget is and how it works, as well as thinking about specific costs they are going to have to consider, such as tuition, rent and food.
You should talk about what you are going to do to help them, and what they are going to need to do themselves, and discuss the matter of responsible spending and credit cards and borrowing.
The more that you talk about all this, the better it will be for both of you, and you’ll feel much more confident sending them off into the world after this conversation.
Let Them Take The Lead On Planning
It’s a good idea to take this opportunity to give them a chance to take the lead, as this way you are going to find that you are much more likely to get them to really start taking responsibility - which is of course what you are hoping for in all this.
While it can be tempting to step in and organize everything, letting your child take charge of the planning, packing and so on helps to really reinforce their sense of independence.
This doesn’t mean you should not offer any guidance - and you’ll probably find you can’t help yourself - but it does mean fundamentally allowing them to decide what they need and why.
If you can do that, it’s going to mean that you are much more likely to feel that they are capable too.
Offer Guidance On Accommodation
One of the most important parts of the whole experience of becoming a student is finding somewhere to live, and it can be a complex and tricky thing to get right.
Because of this, you might find it is a good idea to offer them some guidance on accommodation, again not taking charge but just letting them know what their options are and what they might need to think about and to get ready for.
If you do this in the right way, it should mean that they feel able to take the lead but that you have prepared them well, so it’s going to really help things a lot.
It might be that they go to private university accommodation, or that they are living on campus, but the point is that you are assisting them in figuring out what to do.
If you can do that in the right way, they are going to be much more prepared and it will really make a world of difference to how you both feel about it.
Talk About Mental Health
One of the most common problems amongst the young, and particularly those at university, is mental health.
As such, it is hugely important to make sure that you are talking openly about this, doing all you can to make it a really vital consideration and to talk about it.
Just the fact of talking about it is one of the most powerful things we can do, so it’s hugely important that you are doing that and that your child is going to listen and to talk openly as well.
They might not want to, but it’s important.
University life should be clear, it can be overwhelming, and you need to ensure your child knows that it is okay to ask for help if they are struggling, as well as where they might be able to find resources on campus for mental health needs.
It’s also a good idea to gently remind them about the importance of getting lots of sleep and eating well, and exercising a little too.
Learning to handle stress in healthy ways is something that is hugely important to consider too, and you should make sure that you are thinking about that as well.
As long as you normalise these kinds of conversations, it’s only going to benefit your child as they go off to university.
Talk About Talking
This is hugely important, and something that a lot of parents end up overlooking or forgetting about.
But it’s really a good idea to make sure you are setting some expectations around communication.
In other words, what do you want from your child in terms of how often they get in touch with you, and what do they want from you.
Ideally you will come to an understanding which you are both happy with, but if you don’t talk about it, you may well find that some resentment and anger can build up here.
You might want daily check-ins, while they might prefer a quick text every few days.
Before they leave, talk about how often and in what ways you’ll stay in touch.
A balance between staying connected and giving them space is key.
Finding this balance can often be tough, but it is going to really help a lot.
Prepare For The Change
It’s going to be a big moment of transition for the both of you, so you will also personally need to make sure that you are preparing for the change as best as you can.
This is as much for their sake as for your own, because you don’t want them to feel that they are burdening you with their absence, and they want to be able to feel that their parents are still okay without them being there.
So if you can personally prepare for the change as well as possible, that is going to help a lot.
In all this, remember that it’s perfectly normal to feel a combination of emotions, from pride to sadness.
Try to keep busy and focus on yourself and the things you enjoy, and you should find that this is going to help a lot.
In many respects, this is an exciting new chapter for the both of you, and that is perhaps the most important thing to remember in all this.
But it is going to be something you need to work through as best as you can alone.
Those are just some of the things that can help when you are sending your child off to university, so make sure you are aware of them.
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